I've gone through two deployments, numerous TDYs, CQ Duty and random phone calls at all hours of the day & night. The military may upset me from time to time but I'm still standing. The time away from Jay doesn't hit me the way it used to. Of course I still love my husband and I miss him terribly while he's gone but I don't dwell on that and let it take over my emotions. If I spend the last week before he leaves in this upset emotional mess, what good is that? There will be low points when he's away that I just miss him and I want him home but I try not to make that a 24/7 type of thing. I go on with my days and I hold my head up. I know some of you might be reading wondering why in the world I'm writing about this when he's only going to be gone for 5 weeks (37 days). It's because yesterday Jay made the comment about me not acting like I'll miss him when he's gone. He needs to understand and I think maybe others need to hear the wife's side. Of course I'm going to miss him. Of course I feel pain that I know I'm going to be on my own with out my partner for 5 weeks but if I let go of this hold I have on my emotions I will go to the extreme other side. I won't be in control and I'll be sad, weepy and depressed. I dropped him off an hour ago and I'm already sad thinking about how long these 5 weeks are gonna be.
I have two little kids I have to take care of. If I act like spending 5 weeks away from "Daddy" is the end of the world, it will effect the kids too. I don't want it to. I want them to be strong through these because this will not be the last and most definitely isn't our first. So Jay, I do miss you but I can't act like it because Jayson will see that and it will make things harder for him. The boys need to see a strong Mommy who doesn't break down when Daddy goes away to super hero training. :D
With that I have to say, every service member and civil servant in this country is a super hero to my family. We appreciate and support you. Thank you to all of you no matter who or where you are! My children & I will always know you as super heroes! :)
Now on a happier note, my garden is GROWING!! LOL I know that's typically how it works but I'm absolutely amazed that I can actually grow stuff. It looks like I might even get a few tomatoes out of my garden! WOOO HOOO! Here are some photos from early this morning:
One last thing, We are trying to sell our motorcycle. If you or anyone you might know is interested in buying a 2007 Honda VTX1300C with around 6K miles please let me know! Here is a photo of the bike up for sale!
Check out the blog I made for Diaper Parties!
I miss & love you so much Jay. I hope these 5 weeks go by quickly and you enjoy them while you are away.
-Traci
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